Category Archives: Book Club Meetings

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb, recounts the author’s story when she is left reeling after a breakup with the person she thought would be her “forever”. This book is a fascinating peek into psychotherapy from the perspective of a therapist who needed it herself and her clients.

From Karen: Thanks Jane for suggesting the book, and preparing a very thorough presentation.  I was always interested in the origins of psychoanalysis and psychotherapy.  It was surprising to learn that word therapy began in ancient times and not with Freud in the 1800’s.  As someone said last night (Erin?) this book is very timely.  The pandemic, the political upheaval in the US, and personal challenges have upended my assumptions of expected outcomes.  It is comforting to read this book and realize struggle is the norm and positive change is possible, for those brave enough to take it on…   Thanks too for the yummy cookies.  I do miss our in person meetings where we shared good food, wine and wonderful conversation.  Hopefully this can resume sooner rather than later in 2021. 

From Bev: Another great evening. Thank you for suggesting the book Jane. I really enjoyed following the author and the clients as they peeled the onion to come to a resolution and to find contentment. Maybe contentment isn’t the word but I struggled to find another.  I have suggested this book to others. In this time of constant change, Covid-19 and political upheaval our world is unpredictable and full of stress. As Karen says it is comforting to know that struggle is the norm and that positive change is possible.

It may even allow someone to consider psychotherapy because “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone”. The cookie was delicious. Thank you Jane.

From Josee: Thank you all for a wonderful evening. Thoroughly enjoyed our discussions, and such an appropriate book for our time.  Thank you Jane on a fabulous presentation, and your selection of book.

From Laura: It was so good to see everyone on Thursday evening. Thank you all for being there with cookies and wine to share your thoughts and experiences.  Jane, as mentioned, I thoroughly enjoyed this book, so thanks for a great recommendation, a delicious cookie and an informative presentation. While reading I found it reassuring to be reminded that most of us struggle with challenging life events from time to time, that there are wonderful, sensitive Therapists willing to steer us through a crisis (Erin!), and that there is no statute of limitations on inner growth for anyone.  

From Jill: My thanks too Jane!  I was thinking as I was walking this morning, how reading your book choice opened up to me my own vulnerabilities. Hearing everyone’s opinions, insights and your excellent presentation gave me a lot of food for thought.  I really enjoyed the book, especially as Lori Gottlieb wrote with candour and presented her own vulnerabilities and feelings, but also with a sense of humour which we so need at the present time.  I hope I didn’t sound too negative last night, I was just trying to sort through my own jumble of feelings, that the book therapy ( and your words) exposed me to, in a good and positive way. 

I do appreciate your friendship and can’t wait for the day when we can hug, meet and chat in person again. 

Giver of Stars by Jojo Moyes is set in a small Kentucky town in Depression era America, the novel details the lives of five women who become traveling librarians, delivering books to those less fortunate in the rural communities of Kentucky.

From Moira: Thanks Bev, for bringing the book to our attention and for the links to author interviews. It’s always interesting to hear about the origins of the story and the process from the author herself.  I enjoyed learning about the ‘ack horse librarians. As I said, the description of the landscape and the women’s’ struggles to overcome physical challenges always appeals to me. 

From Ann: Great conversation as always.  I loved how a group of women with such different views and backgrounds can find each other and make the world a better place one book at a time. It sounds like another group of ladies I know.  I am looking forward to cocktail hour.  I say just use the pitcher if you don’t have a glass that size! 

From Karen: It was interesting to read about the Pack Horse Library project.  As you said Bev, they were a very special group of ladies to take on the challenge of delivering books to such a remote region.   Looking forward to seeing what Resse Witherspoon does with the story.

From Jill: My thanks too Bev! The pack horse libraries, and what those brave, hard working women endured thanks to the idea and tenacity of Eleanor Roosevelt was a piece of history I knew nothing about.  It was an enlightening and inspiring discussion and your links which I really enjoyed, helped give me insight into the background of the book and Jo Jo Moyes herself.  I have read her series Me Before You, Still Me, and After You.  Even though her novels are light reading and mostly romantic, she does touch on human aspects, situations and feelings involved.  They leave me with the thoughts, how would I deal with and what would I feel given those circumstances. I will look forward to reading at some point, The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek by Kim Michelle Richardson.  The Giver of Star’s novel has piqued my curiosity. 

From Laura: Thanks Bev for a very interesting book choice, as well as the very informative supplemental information. I have always looked at Eleanor Roosevelt as a role model for courage and productivity. No surprise that she was the presence behind the Packhorse Librarian project.

From Jane: Thank you Bev for picking a book about a part of history that I had not previously been aware. I loved seeing the pictures of the actual horse librarians – they must have been very interesting and strong women who made such an impact in their communities.

From Josee: Just wanted to say thank you Bev for your excellent book choice and last night book discuss.
And to all, it was wonderful seeing you, even if just via a zoom session. Looking forward to our December “get together”.  

Out of My Mind by Sharon Draper tells the story of 10 year old Melody, incapable of controlling her body or speaking her mind because of cerebral palsy.  Told in the first person by the remarkable intelligent girl, the story is a realistic and compassionate window into the life of one considered “disabled” by the world around her.

From Karen: Thanks for last night’s discussion.  As always no matter what type of book we read, I learn so much from the group’s insights.  Your discussion on the daily challenges you face teaching in a COVID world was especially moving.  Your students are very lucky to have you Ann.  May we all remain healthy in body and spirit as we enter into fall/winter and a second COVID wave.  Thank goodness we have our books and meetings to look forward to.  Here’s to enjoying more meaningful conversations and learning new things together.

From Bev: So sorry to have joined in later last night. I agree with Karen, that we learn and grow through our discussions. Ann’s book resonated with me and my years in education, trying to advocate for including special needs kids in the classroom. Their struggles and those of the teachers and parents who work so hard to accommodate and support them is inspiring.

From Moira: Thanks everyone for another good discussion and many thanks to you Ann for bringing this book forward and providing the links to author interviews and filling in the classroom realities. I’m always amazed when such a seemingly simple book has so much depth to it when we start reviewing, analyzing, questioning etc.  It’s the beauty of our Bookclub!

Attached is the excellent presentation (without the videos) that Karen used in her discussion about ‘Stay Still’. We unfortunately could not meet in Karen’s beautiful backyard due to weather, so met once again using Zoom. You can see by the thoughtful comments below that the book generated a lively discussion and Karen’s discussion preparation was most appreciated.

From Erin:

Thank you for the incredibly well prepared presentation Karen.  Your questions were very stimulating of the issues that are often raised by art… I too loved her photographs, as they are both beautiful and sometimes disturbing… certainly very evocative… AND they raise different issues for me around the ethics of informed consent… especially re children, who are too young to fully comprehend the ramifications. 
Sally Mann certainly seemed consumed by the “messiness” of the body as well as its beauty… as depicted by her photos in dire situations, and in the decay of death… flesh melting away from bone… return to the earth… and  the question of the “mystery of life” itself.  What is it that transforms the physical (matter) to an “alive” from a dormant or “dead” state?  Questions about the soul… and her mention in the book of the weight of the soul when it leaves… get me thinking about this question of what separates life from death.

From Moira:
Many thanks Karen, your presentation was very insightful and probing.  As usual, the discussion gave me much more to think about and made me question my own biased beliefs. Thanks for recommending a book I likely would not have read . Loved seeing the collection of photos at the end as it reminded me of Sally Mann’s extraordinary talent and passion .

From Jeanne:

Adding my thanks Karen! I really appreciate your research and presentation, as it took me beyond some of the preconceived opinions I had about the book and the author. It was a great discussion everyone, looking forward to ‘seeing’ you all at Ann’s bookclub!

From Bev:

Outstanding presentation, Karen. Your PowerPoint guided me to delve deeper into the book. Art and artists tend to ask really tough questions. There is always more beyond the surface and it is not easy to get to the deeper intent and meaning. Your research and probing help me to better understand Sally Mann and her work.

Great discussion.

From Laura:

Excellent summary Karen, and some thoughtful, probing questions that have me revisiting how my construct may have changed over the years around artistic expression, and why. It’s always good for me to hear what others are saying, and know if I might be out of step with current thinking. I don’t think I can add much more to the already astute and insightful commentary given, but I appreciate the opportunity to debate and discuss these difficult subjects, so that we all have the opportunity to gain an increased worldview. 
I will say again that Sally Mann is a talented artist, and has worked incredibly hard to perfect her craft. I really enjoyed the montage at the end. I look forward to hearing of her future journey, as I can see that life has been a struggle for her and a bit of a roller coaster. Thanks for recommending this book.

From Ann:

Great job!   I think I related to the book much like you did, Karen!  I loved her photographs of her kids.  I think the kids were on board and were supporting her and therefore quite willing to participate.  Their mom was into photography and that was just how it was.  Other parents are into sports, or drugs or hockey or whatever and they all affect the kids- it is just that kids don’t think there is anything wrong with it. I can see how sharing them caused an uproar and upset some people but damn – they are beautiful.  I agree with whoever said she was brave to reflect on her privilege.  To admit she did things “wrong” (although she wasn’t aware enough to know it at the time) is kind of the point that those of us with privilege must do.  So many (me included) are afraid to weigh in because we will be judged and she just shares her thoughts and ideas.  It really has to start with this to make any long term change at all.  Anyhoo…. just thought I’d weigh in. It takes me a while to figure out what I want to say and even so I am not sure if I have expressed myself well.  Thanks

Sally Mann Hold Still Presentation

This was our third pandemic era book club meeting – wonderful to have this technology but wouldn’t it be nice to see each other in person (although you can see Jane and Laura’s feet in this picture 😷)

From Erin:

Yes … thanks Josee for a well researched base for our discussion, which was as always enjoyable and informative.  I am one of the ones who didn’t catch on entirely until the end… and now it’s occurring to me… when I saw FOE in caps that the title could stand for Friend Or Enemy… which could be an interesting way to discuss the appearance of the stranger… and perhaps friend or enemy to whom? 

From Bev:

An interesting choice and not my preferred genre but I like that the book club stretches us to read and discuss out of our comfort zone. 

From Jill:

From Moira:

Great discussion as always, thank you Josee for the research and for exposing us to the novel. I was wondering afterwards if the AI version of Junior aged over the 2 years he spent with Hen or does he stay the same as when he was calibrated? 

From Karen:

I really enjoyed our philosophical, futuristic, sci-fi, discussion yesterday.  My take on it is that we all seem leery about the future.   Perhaps FOE and the pandemic are influencing our thinking?  Great discussion as always.  I do appreciate the chance to use ZOOM to meet though to be honest, it will be a treat to see everyone IN PERSON at Jane’s next month –  even if we can’t hug each other.

 

Thanks Josee for bringing Ian Reid’s novel to our attention.  It will be interesting to see the film adaption.  I wonder which themes the scriptwriter and director will focus on.

Our second pandemic book club meeting was with Jill and started with most of us participating in a fun online cooking class with Melissa Clark

And then …..we discussed the very sad Home for Unwanted Girls by Joanna Goodman. Many of us were surprised by how much we learned about this dark time in Canadian history.

From Karen:

Reading Home for Unwanted Girls made me aware of a sad period in Canadian history and one that I knew little about. It is horrific to realize that the Quebec provincial government and the Catholic church systematically certified orphans as mentally ill for financial gain. Horrible and unforgiveable. I agree with Moira that those involved should have been criminally charged. A financial settlement can never make up for the years of abuse suffered by those innocent children.

From Moira:

When Laura did her book club on Between the World and Me by Ta Nehisi Coates, she gave us a presentation on the history of the African American experience in the US.

This was an excellent summary of the history and the experience of Black Americans that was eye-opening at the time.

It is well worth another visit given the current world situation. We have truly been witnessing revolutionary change that hopefully will be substantive and sustained.

This was our first Covid-19 Pandemic Zoom meeting.

Most of us were able to gather virtually and all went pretty well using our new technology. Much needed time together to discuss the book and education and reconciliation and also were able to show off our bread making and get caught up on how all are doing during this ‘interesting’ time. Erin we missed having your insights about this book.

From Karen:

Thanks Ann for all the effort you put into last night’s meeting. I enjoyed the video links especially although as Jane said, I also found the story very sad and disturbing. Another compelling read, a memoir, written by Terese Marie Mailhot, is Heart Berries https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/aug/04/heart-berries-by-terese-marie-mailhot-review. Equally sad, and perhaps even more disturbing.

It was featured in the NYT monthly book club and was recommended by Cheryl Strayed (author of Wild)

I did miss everyone’s physicality but was surprised at how intimate our Zoom meeting turned out to be.  It was good to see everyone smiling, healthy and engaged (as always!) in the conversation.  Sorry you were not able to be with us Erin.  And of course I missed the food…  Too bad the technology hasn’t advanced to the point where as in Star Trek, they had a food replicator.

Jill perhaps you could get Dave to build something in time for our next get together?

From Moira:

Thanks to Ann for preparing so much background information for our bookclub meeting and thanks to Jeanne for setting it up. I was surprised at how smoothly everything went and it was certainly nice to see and hear you all. I will endeavour to find out what novels are on the grade 10-12 reading list, although most English teachers allow independent novel study, so students typically choose their own and have it approved. I found that I was swept up in Jared’s life and found his story compelling and really enjoyed the mystical elements. All we can really do is open our minds and hearts to the indigenous stories and learn to listen.

From Jill:

I was lying awake last night mulling over our meeting, I usually do after book club, and thinking about Jared and the daunting pressures he had to deal with. Deep down he was really a decent and kind person, fighting against all odds. My heart went out to him when he was helping the elderly couple as best he could, and the wife in particular seemed to understand him. He needed that little bit of confidence and reassurance. He had little else. The love between him and his mother was there deep down, but she was fighting her own internal demons, and so was Jared. Talk about survival of the fittest.

I felt the parallel of the lives/lifestyle between the first link that Ann gave us, and that of Jared’s. I loved how the drumming of music entered their senses and became their solace.
I wonder, if each of us would be asked, what it is that calms, nurtures and settles our senses.
I know for my own mother it was music, and birdsong. I feel that in me as well….and illustrated books of Flower Fairies…don’t laugh, it’s true.

From Bev:

A great book. There are times when books written for young adults are so much more real. I found that I could really connect with Jared and was cheering him on even when his life seemed so messed up. The trickster is such a challenging concept. Usually we encounter the wise one in western literature. The trickster is just the opposite. Those crows caused mayhem and out of the mayhem came learning and wisdom. I will search back to the Trickster stories I used many years ago with my Grade 6 classes.

From Laura:

In the event that any of you wish to do some further non-fiction reading about historical relations between Indigenous peoples and the rest of Canada, the following is a list of books that were recommended to me not long ago. I know that you will find the descriptions to be daunting, but they do truly represent the many examples of how Canada betrayed and lost the trust of indigenous peoples – beyond the residential school policy, and how that trust may never return until they have more of say in their own destinies:
Lost Harvests; by Sarah Carter
Agriculture on Plains Indian reserves is generally thought to have failed because the Indigenous people lacked either an interest in farming or an aptitude for it. In Lost Harvests Sarah Carter reveals that reserve residents were anxious to farm and expended considerable effort on cultivation; government policies, more than anything else, acted to undermine their success. Despite repeated requests for assistance from Plains Indians, the Canadian government provided very little help between 1874 and 1885, and what little they did give proved useless. 

An Error in Judgement; by Dara Culhane (Speck)On January 22, 1979, an eleven-year-old Native girl died of a ruptured appendix in an Alert Bay, B.C. hospital. The events that followed are chronicled here by Dara Culhane Speck, a member by marriage of the Nimpkish Indian Band in Alert Bay. She has relied mainly on interviews, anecdotes and public records to describe how this small, isolated Native community took on the local hospital, the College of Physicians and Surgeons, provincial and federal ministries of health and national media, because their private tragedy held implications that reached far beyond one child, one physician, one town and even one century.

The Pleasure of the Crown; by Dara CulhaneA comprehensive look at how Canadian, particularly British Columbian, society “reveals itself” through its courtroom performances in Aboriginal title litigation. Focusing in particular on the Gitksan and Wet’suwet’en case, the book traces the trial of Delgamuukw. v. Regina from 1987 and 1991 to its successful appeal to the Supreme Court of Canada, which issued a landmark ruling in 1997. (fyi. the  Delgamuukw decision was probably the most important case to be settled in Canada in terms of Indigenous relations.)

A Poison Stronger than Love; by Anastasia M. ShkilnykThis book documents the human costs of massive and extraordinarily rapid change in a people’s way of life. When well-intentioned bureaucrats relocated the Grassy Narrows band to a new reserve in 1963, the results were the unraveling of the tribe’s social fabric and a sharp deterioration in their personal morale – dramatically reflected in Shkilnyk’s statistics on violent death, illness, and family breakdown. The book explores the origins and causes of the suffering in the community life and describes the devastating impacts of mercury contamination on the health and livelihood of the Indian people.

Strangers Devoured the Land; by Boyce RichardsonThe long struggle of the Crees of James Bay in northern Quebec—a hunting and trapping people—to defend the territories they have occupied since time immemorial, came to international attention in 1972 when they tried by legal action to stop the immense hydro-electric project the provincial government was proposing to build around them.

As Long as the Rivers Run; by James Waldram
In past treaties, the Aboriginal people of Canada surrendered title to their lands in return for guarantees that their traditional ways of life would be protected. Since the 1950s, governments have reneged on these commitments in order to acquire more land and water for hydroelectric development. James B. Waldram examines this controversial topic through an analysis of the politics of hydroelectric dam construction in the Canadian Northwest, focusing on three Aboriginal communities in Manitoba and Saskatchewan.

Unjust Relations: Aboriginal Rights in Canadian Courts; by Peter KulchyskiA little dry, but this book provides a collection of eight Supreme Court decisions concerning aboriginal rights. The cases, which span from 1888 to 1990, demonstrate the development of the legal value of aboriginal rights in Canada and help readers understand how recent court decisions were influenced by those in thepast.
Skyscrapers Hide the Heavens; by J.R. MillerThis one is more of a history book. A comprehensive account of Native-newcomer relations throughout Canada’s history. Author J.R. Miller charts the deterioration of the relationship from the initial, mutually beneficial contact in the fur trade to the current displacement and marginalization of the Indigenous population. 

Custer Died for Your Sins; by Vine DeloriaThis book dates back to 1969 and was noteworthy for its relevance to the Alcatraz-Red Power Movement and other activist organizations, such as the American Indian Movement, which was beginning to expand. Deloria’s book encouraged better use of federal funds aimed at helping Native Americans. Vine Deloria, Jr. presents Native Americans in a humorous light, devoting an entire chapter to Native American humor. Custer Died for Your Sins was significant in its presentation of Native Americans as a people who were able to retain their tribal society and morality, while existing in the modern world.

From Erin:

Thanks for a very impressive meal and evening … It was such a fun experience for me to arrive a titch (pun intended) late to our group already in action… the excited energy and liveliness of everyone in the room felt exhilarating after a full day… and continued on with a sense of lightheartedness, during the discussion of very real and serious issues… unfortunately Jane, we need to be on the lookout for pedophiles and others who sexually assault… as we all agreed, it has not gone away. What I do feel though, is that perhaps disclosures of sexual assault are less likely to be discounted today, than a generation ago, even though the legal system lags in its ability to prosecute the small percentage of cases that make it into the courts. As for Wash… he was a beautiful expression of how limiting lack of real freedom can be to both individuals and the world, experiencing the benefits of full expression of each individuals talents and gifts.. even with all the opportunities afforded by Titch. I pray for the day when every spirit… regardless of the physical form within which it resides in this realm … has the opportunity to fully express its unique qualities without reservation and the limits of fear. That’s the world I hope we will all live in one day…

From Karen:

Our novel and subsequent discussion led me to think about how through time immemorial, oppression of peoples is based on deciding who is human and who is not. The mistreatment of those that are deemed not to be human can therefore be “justified”. Those that hold the power (be it economic, political, etc.) do the deciding and thereby grant themselves permission to treat “others” as property. Sadly this seems to be an all too human characteristic and is practised today in the form of human trafficking and child slavery.

Aside from the weighty topic of our conversation, the evening was delightful. So good to see everyone and enjoy a delicious meal. Looking forward to those recipes Moira!

From Jill:

Once again, an entertaining and feast of an evening of food, wine, friendship, and book discussion.

It’s always interesting to hear everyone’s individual take and opinion on our books.

Rehashing my thoughts this morning, I realise how lucky I was to be born into a safe and protected environment.

Being born into slavery must have been horrific.

For Washington Black his life seemed to be full of contrast and mixed emotions. The cruelty of enslavement, the freedom after escaping, and the people who showed him compassion when he needed it most.